what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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