he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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