I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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