I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
