this beer tastes like vomit already
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
