i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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