We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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