I wannas sexs uuuuu
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
