When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
