Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
