a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
