You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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