rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Randomize
