i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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