There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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