Having a random hookup so left but love u
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
