She's JV to your varsity
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
