im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
