i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
We are two peas in an std pod
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
