she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
