i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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