He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Randomize
