oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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