Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
