Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
