i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
