Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
