And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
