he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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