somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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