a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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