OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
