He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize