I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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