I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
