Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
