I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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