this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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