i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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