Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
