does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
