I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
