dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize