I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize