I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
