and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
