Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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