Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
