I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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