2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
As shirtless as possible
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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