I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
