If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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