You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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