I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
