plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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