I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Randomize
