You made me cry and you don't even care
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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