You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
