so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
