he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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