I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
They took my balls.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize