yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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