school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
