I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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