we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
